October 2010
“You look…very….Halloweeny”
– First comment on my costume
Last Night
I had a dream that you were getting in the shower
and that you had a mullet.
The shower symbolized “coming clean”
But do I have to come clean?
Or do you?
And that mullet…
Business in the front
Party in the back?
Does this imply that you are two faced
or that you are hiding something?
I’m curious.
Does anyone want to take a stab at interpreting this?
I Firmly Believe in This Quotation
To Those of Us Born 1930 – 1979
At the end of this email is a quote of the month by Jay Leno. If you don’t read anything else, please read what he said.
Very well stated, Mr. Leno.. TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 1930′s, 40′s, 50′s, 60′s and 70′s!! First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue...
How to be a Hipster: The Starter Kit...
cheaperthanacupofjoe:
Step 1: If you understand what your t-shirt says, take it off.
Step 2: You MUST own: a messenger bag, thick frame nerd glasses (prescription optional), v-neck t-shirts, and a mustache.
Step 3: DO NOT own: a TV, loose fitted jeans, and shampoo.
Step 4: Listen to obscure bands until they become mainstream.
Step 5: Grow everything you eat and smoke.
Step 6: Listen...
Wedding Dresses
I want a wedding dress
And I want to play dress up
So that everyone will look at me
For now
WatchI Hate Nature
Just to Let All of You Know
I am a writer
and none of you are safe from making appearances in my work.
This blog
is no different
than any song
poem
or profound statement
that I have ever put onto paper.
Sometimes I will be ambiguous as to whom my subject matter is.
Sometimes I will come right out and say who it is.
Because I am a writer.
I am brave
I am ballsy
I have more courage than you ever will
Because I...
I Don't Know How I Feel About This...I Think I...
My name is Michael Otterson. I am here representing the leadership of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to address the matter of the petition presented today by the Human Rights Campaign.
While we disagree with the Human Rights Campaign on many fundamentals, we also share some common ground. This past week we have all witnessed tragic deaths across the country as a result...
Dear Gross Boy That Always Sits Next to Me In...
When you breathe out of your nose, it makes a whistling sound. A sound that I can no longer tolerate. Do you not get it when I scoot my chair as far away from you as I possibly can whenever you sit down? Then on top of that, you eat the most disgusting things in the most disgusting manner.
That’s not the point.
The point is that your nasally, whistling breathing continues for the entirety...
Halloween
A holiday that I often severely resent due to my hatred toward the cold and my lack of desires for mass amounts of candy.
BUT.
I feel as though I have been slacking on my costumes lately.
My costumes through the years have been
A Flower Tinkerbelle Bride A Playboy Bunny (1st grade. Swear to God) Cleopatra Witch Movie Star Pebbles Limo Driver Pirate Zombie Tom Cruise Gangster Nurse Maid
...
Reblog if your glasses are actually prescription.
meehaun:
holyflaps:
Reblog if you’re just a sweet Transvestite from...
whenskiesaregrey:
The Greatest Package Ever
Today I received a package in the mail from my Grandma.
It is the greatest thing that anyone could have ever gotten in the mail.
The contents are as follows:
A Veggie Tales Coloring Book (Along with MORE crayons to replace the broken ones in my Crayola Crayon Carousel.) This will be so good to have around during finals.
Candy. We are now very well stocked in case people actually decide to...
